Alliance News Network/Profiles in Courage
During the Reaper War in 2186, the Alliance News Network broadcasts a special edition of their show called "Profiles in Courage". The program follows a squad of four agents, members of N7 Special Ops, as they recover from a week-long fight by enjoying some shore leave on the Citadel. The story is covered by ANN reports and the discussions of the four N7 agents: ANN (@AllianceNewsNetAlliance News Network Twitter feed) comm channel: ANN channel broadcast the adventures of the four N7 agents. De-MEL-Isher (@De_Mel_IsherDe-Mel-Isher Twitter feed) – A female human N7 engineer who states to be a "grenade-lobbing badass" ready for Reapers, geth, Cerberus, and shore leave. Snarfles (@VorchaDaddySnarfles Twitter feed) – A vorcha soldier who claims to be a flamer and dreamer. He also claims that his opinions are not the opinions of Alliance military, RAAAAA. Amda Talons Flufyria (@TalktotheTalonsAmda Talons Flufyria Twitter feed) – A female turian vanguard and member of the Cabals who claims to be ready to take back Palaven. Unit 1025 (@ThisUnit1025Unit 1025 Twitter feed) – A geth infiltrator assisting organics in the defense of the galaxy since 2186 which asserts to have a soul. This story can also be considered as canon but only in playthrough where the geth are spared during the mission on Rannoch. If not, this story is invalidated. Messages Profiles in Courage Special Edition *'ANN': This is ANN, coming to you with a special edition of Profiles in Courage. This week, shore leave! #Citadel *'ANN': We join N7 agents as they recover from a week defending our freedom. @De_Mel_isher, @VorchaDaddy, @TalktotheTalons, and @ThisUnit1025 *'De-MEL-Isher': What. No. Guys, who said ANN got to follow us on shore leave? #Citadel *'Amda Talons Flufyria': What's wrong with it? It's good to show the galaxy what we're doing for them! Besides, there's not enough female turians in the spotlight! *'De-MEL-Isher': Yes, we can show them what we're doing ON DUTY. OFF DUTY, I have NEEDS. Snarfles, 1025, TELL me you did not okay this. #Citadel *'Snarfles': @de_mel_isher RAAAAAA TALONS SAID GOOD TO SHOW UNDERREPRESENTED MINORITIES IN POSITIVE ROLE #Citadel *'De-MEL-Isher': Oh, @talktothetalons, we are TALKING later. Like after I have had many drinks and gotten the ringing of all the grenades out of my ears. *'Geth Infiltrator1025': This unit intended to visit the Citadel covertly. Presence of ANN cameras may interfere with operations. #Citadel *'De-MEL-Isher': @thisunit1025 YES. What he said! I had a LOT of things I wanted to do COVERTLY. #Citadel *'Geth Infiltrator1025': @de_mel_isher This unit is nongendered and requests that you monitor your privilege. #Citadel *'ANN': These heroes from four difference species are all allied against the Reapers. @De_Mel_Isher, @VorchaDaddy, @TalktotheTalons, @ThisUnit1025 *'ANN': They fight for our lives and freedom, and also for the safety and security of the Citadel. #Citadel *'De-MEL-Isher': Okay, screw it, we're sneaking @thisunit1025 in. I don't care. #Citadel *'Geth Infiltrator1025': We will divert power from normal combat subroutines to maintain a persistent cloaking field. #Citadel *'Snarfles': @thisunit1025 SHAME YOU NO DO THAT WHEN WE TRYING TO DISABLE DEVICES WHILE COVERED WITH BEES. #Citadel *'Amda Talons Flufyria': @vorchadaddy Hey, Snarfles, not cool. Now, is this an interview? Do you want a perspective on serving in a turian cabal? #Citadel *'ANN': ANN is proud to follow these diverse individuals silently and without interference. #Citadel *'Amda Talons Flufyria': Fiiiiiiine. All right, let's get cleared through security. #Citadel *'Geth Infiltrator1025': We will remain as motionless as possible. #Citadel Silver Coast Casino *'ANN': We join @De_Mel_Isher, @VorchaDaddy, @TalktotheTalons, and @ThisUnit1025 on their well-earned shore leave. #Citadel *'De-MEL-Isher': Well, THAT took forever. But finally, Silver Coast Casino. I need something alcoholic, then something limber and increasingly naked. *'Amda Talons Flufyria': This is gonna be great, you guys. #Citadel *'Geth Infiltrator1025': @talktothetalons This unit is nongendered and requests that you monitor your privilege. #Citadel *'Amda Talons Flufyria': Shut up, @thisunit1025. #Citadel *'De-MEL-Isher': What's up with your name, anyway, @ThisUnit1025? #Citadel *'Geth Infiltrator1025': @De_Mel_Isher 1025 is the number of digits in 2 to the 10th power, the number of bytes in a kilobyte. #Citadel *'De-MEL-Isher': @ThisUnit1025 That's 1024. #Citadel *'Geth Infiltrator1025': @De_Mel_Isher We count the zero. #Citadel *'De-MEL-Isher': @ThisUnit1025 Dude, it's 1024. I KNOW THIS. I am an ENGINEER. #Citadel *'Geth Infiltrator1025': @De_Mel_Isher You primarily throw grenades. #Citadel *'De-MEL-Isher': @ThisUnit1025 And NOW I primarily DRINK. Have fun, and don't wait up for me. Be sure not to lose 2 TO THE 10th PLUS ONE. #Citadel *'ANN': Close friends despite their differences, the unit shares a bond of camaraderie that transcends species. #Citadel *'Amda Talons Flufyria': Time to dance. Maybe find a turian guy or something. Plenty of THEM around! How about you, Snarfles? #Citadel *'Snarfles': ME HIT QUASAR MACHINE. NEED CREDITS TO BUY NICE PRESENT FOR ASARI GIRLFRIEND ON OMEGA. #Citadel *'Amda Talons Flufyria': @VorchaDaddy Oh, yeah, her. The one you don't have any pictures of? #Citadel *'Snarfles': @TalktotheTalons ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK. SHE REAL! #Citadel *'Amda Talons Flufyria': @VorchaDaddy Uh-huh. Anyway, why do you need more money to buy her something? #Citadel *'Snarfles': @TalktotheTalons ME NO NEED TO BUY HER ANYTHING. SHE RESPECT ME FOR WHO ME AM. BUT WANT HER TO KNOW ME THINK OF HER! #Citadel *'Amda Talons Flufyria': VorchaDaddy Yeah, good luck with that. I'm going to be shaking my spurs off and looking for a guy with nice mandibles. #Citadel *'ANN': The common bond for this group? A commitment to earning their victories legitimately through teamwork. #Citadel *'Snarfles': @ThisUnit1025 RAAAAA MACHINE, YOU STILL HERE? #Citadel *'Geth Infiltrator1025': @VorchaDaddy Yes. #Citadel *'Snarfles': @ThisUnit1025 ME MAYBE ALREADY LOST MOST OF CREDITS ON QUASAR. YOU HELP? #Citadel *'Geth Infiltrator1025': @VorchaDaddy Inability to calculate simple probability on your part does not obligate cheating on ours. #Citadel *'Snarfles': @ThisUnit1025 IT NOT FOR ME! IT FOR ASARI GIRLFRIEND ON OMEGA! #Citadel *'Geth Infiltrator1025': @VorchaDaddy We have not yet reached consensus regarding the existence of the mate you have described. #Citadel *'Snarfles': @ThisUnit1025 MAYBE YOU NO CAN HACK QUASAR MACHINE. YOU NOT EVEN COUNT TO 2 TO 10TH POWER RIGHT. #Citadel *'Geth Infiltrator1025': @VorchaDaddy Remain silent. We will recover your credits #Citadel *'Geth Infiltrator1025': @VorchaDaddy You are failing to remain silent. Audio comparison to medical references suggests asthma or a deviated septum. #Citadel *'Snarfles': @ThisUnit1025 IT NATURAL PART OF VORCHA BREATHING. GIRLFRIEND THINK IT SEXY. #Citadel *'Geth Infiltrator1025': @VorchaDaddy Error: Silver Coast Casino anti-cheating software has been alerted to our activity. #Citadel *'Snarfles': @ThisUnit1025 RAAAAAAA! YOU MACHINE! HOW YOU NO HACK RIGHT? #Citadel *'ANN': Even when they encounter setbacks, the team focuses on working together as a single dedicated unit. #Citadel *'Snarfles': @ThisUnit1025 STUPID MACHINE! ME NO GO TO JAIL BECAUSE YOU TOO DUMB TO HACK QUASAR GAME! #Citadel *'Geth Infiltrator1025': @VorchaDaddy Regardless of our perceived intelligence, we possess a tactical cloak, while you do not. #Citadel *'Amda Talons Flufyria': Hey, guys, what's up, and wow, look at all these security guys coming our way. Hey, Mister Big-Crest, busy night on the job? #Citadel *'De-MEL-Isher': Woooo! Guys! Guys, meet my hot date! This is Thax! #Citadel *'Amda Talons Flufyria': @De_Mel_Isher Um, Thax the criminal warlord krogan? That Thax? #Citadel *'De-MEL-Isher': @TalktotheTalons I told him I had a turian cabal member in my squad, and he couldn't believe it. Had to see for himself! #Citadel *'Amda Talons Flufyria': @De_Mel_Isher Why couldn't he believe it? Doesn't think a cabal member can handle the field with the rest of the N7s? #Citadel *'Amda Talons Flufyria': @De_Mel_Isher Too pretty? I'll show you pretty! Just because krogan keep all their women penned up like cattle… #Citadel *'Snarfles': RAAAAA YOU NO GET IN PERSONAL SPACE OF TALONS, STUPID KROGAN! #Citadel *'De-MEL-Isher': Hey, come on, guys, don't be jerks. Thax is gonna take us out on his yacht to do shots later! #Citadel *'Snarfles': RAAAAA SECURITY, THAX BIG CRIMINAL, PROBABLY HE DOING ANY HACKING OF QUASAR GAME! #Citadel *'Geth Infiltrator1025': @VorchaDaddy Agreed. The krogan is the likely suspect. #Citadel *'De-MEL-Isher': @ThisUnit1025 Oh, 1024, you're still here! Oh, hey, security guys, it's just my geth buddy -- don't worry, he's a kickass shot. #Citadel *'Geth Infiltrator1025': @de_mel_isher This unit is nongendered and requests -- Alert: security officers are drawing weapons. #Citadel *'ANN': High-spirited and full of life, the squad fights above all else for the people they have sworn to protect. #Citadel *'Amda Talons Flufyria': Crap. CHAAAAAAAAAARGE! #Citadel *'De-MEL-Isher': RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN! #Citadel Armax Arsenal Arena *'ANN': We now continue our broadcast of Profiles in Courage, following a diverse team of heroes fighting to protect the galaxy. #Citadel *'ANN': Our squad of @De_Mel_isher, @VorchaDaddy, @TalktotheTalons, and @ThisUnit1025 is still enjoying shore leave! #Citadel *'De-MEL-Isher': What the crap happened, you guys? I was gonna get shots and a trip to a yacht and laid. #Citadel *'Amda Talons Flufyria': @De_Mel_isher Yeah, by a krogan CRIMINAL WARLORD! #Citadel *'Snarfles': CASINO SECURITY STILL LOOKING. WE HIDE IN COMBAT ARENA. BIG CROWD, LOTS OF GUNS! #Citadel *'Amda Talons Flufyria': Hey, 1024, you with us? #Citadel *'Geth Infiltrator1025': @TalktotheTalons If you are referring to this unit, yes. The only remaining evidence of our hacking attempt is the interface port we dropped *'De-MEL-Isher': @ThisUnit1025 You dropped an interface port? Is that like just having a toe fall off or something? #Citadel *'De-MEL-Isher': @ThisUnit1025 Hey, don't do that thing with your flashlight head, it's a fair question and I'm really drunk. #Citadel *'Geth Infiltrator1025': @De_Mel_isher This unit observed your former squadmate, operative Richards, picking it up when Casino Security apprehended him. #Citadel *'De-MEL-Isher': @ThisUnit1025 Enh, he was kind of a tool. Always stole the grenades from my pylon. #Citadel *'De-MEL-Isher': @ThisUnit1025 Said he needed them because his missiles didn't fire fast enough. No trouble firing fast enough that one time, I'll tell you. *'Amda Talons Flufyria': Anyway, @De_Mel_isher , we did you a favor. Thax was a creep. Saying the turian cabals didn't have what it took for front-line combat. *'De-MEL-Isher': @TalktotheTalons Oh, yeah, that would absolutely have stopped me from having mind-blowing sex with him. #Citadel *'Amda Talons Flufyria': Wow, this combat arena is HUGE. And it's free to the public tonight! I could get in there and show EVERYONE what a cabal vanguard can do! *'Snarfles': @TalktotheTalons AND GET PRIZE MONEY FOR ASARI GIRLFRIEND ME HAVE! #Citadel *'Amda Talons Flufyria': @VorchaDaddy …Also that, sure. Okay, wish me luck. And also, if you see Thax, we should probably run. I might have biotically poisoned him. *'De-MEL-Isher': @TalktotheTalons How the crap did you poison him? #Citadel *'Amda Talons Flufyria': @De_Mel_isher BIOTICALLY. I just SAID that. How drunk are you? #Citadel *'De-MEL-Isher': @TalktotheTalons Faaaaaairly? Okay, let's find good seats and watch Talons kick some ass! #Citadel *'Snarfles': @De_Mel_isher WAIT. WHAT IF SHE LOSE? ME NO GET CREDITS BEFORE! #Citadel *'De-MEL-Isher': @VorchaDaddy I'm sorry, little snarfly guy. Life is like that. There are no guarantees. We all just have to try our best. #Citadel *'Snarfles': @De_Mel_isher WHAT IF WE HACK COMBAT SIMULATOR? #Citadel *'De-MEL-Isher': @VorchaDaddy Hell yes, GOOD plan. 1024, you game? #Citadel *'Geth Infiltrator1025': @De_Mel_isher This unit is very rarely thanked for disabling devices or applying medi-gel to downed comrades. #Citadel *'De-MEL-Isher': @ThisUnit1025 Oh, come on, don't be pissy. Look, how else is Snarfles ever going to get his imaginary girlfriend to have sex with him? *'Snarfles': @De_Mel_isher RAAAAAA, THAT OFFENSIVE ON SEVERAL LEVELS! #Citadel *'Geth Infiltrator1025': @De_Mel_isher Acceptable. We will hack the combat simulator to allow Talons to win. #Citadel *'Snarfles': @ThisUnit1025 GOOD! OVER HERE! NOBODY SEE! #Citadel *'ANN': With inventive problem-solving skills, this N7 squad always puts the team ahead of personal concerns. #Citadel *'De-MEL-Isher': And here we go! Wow, look at her down there. I guess she DOES poison stuff biotically! Mass effect fields can do ANYTHING! #Citadel *'Geth Infiltrator1025': We are prepared to hack holographic enemy behavior protocols. What enemy set is she engaging? #Citadel *'De-MEL-Isher': @ThisUnit1025 Oh, geth. Should be easy for you, huh? #Citadel *'Geth Infiltrator1025': @De_Mel_isher Clarify. #Citadel *'Snarfles': @ThisUnit1025 REAPER-CONTROLLED GETH. BAD GETH. NOT GOOD GETH. #Citadel *'De-MEL-Isher': @VorchaDaddy Well, I don't know about that. I mean, admittedly, I'm pretty hammered, and I wasn't listening to the announcer, but… #Citadel *'Geth Infiltrator1025': @De_Mel_isher This is offensive. Our people are now fighting alongside yours. We should not be depicted as enemies. #Citadel *'De-MEL-Isher': @ThisUnit1025 Why not? It's like us killing those Cerberus jerkwads! Plus you helped us fight ACTUAL geth just yesterday! #Citadel *'Geth Infiltrator1025': @De_Mel_isher Those are geth platforms being controlled by Reaper code, not geth programs. Do you not read the N7 newsletter? @Citadel *'De-MEL-Isher': @ThisUnit1025 We have a newsletter? #Citadel *'Geth Infiltrator1025': @De_Mel_isher We will not allow our people to be symbolically killed. Altering program. #Citadel *'Snarfles': @ThisUnit1025 WHAT YOU DO? THAT NOT VOICE YOU USE WHEN DO SOMETHING GOOD. #Citadel *'De-MEL-Isher': Holy crap, he turned all the geth into primes. This calls for another drink. #Citadel *'Geth Infiltrator1025':@De_Mel_isher This unit is nongendered and requests that you monitor your privilege. #Citadel *'De-MEL-Isher': Man, she does move her little turian ass around that arena pretty fast, I'll give her that! Run, girlfriend! #Citadel *'Snarfles': RAAAAAA! YOU TURN OFF PRIMES! #Citadel *'De-MEL-Isher': Is that Thax? Hey, I think Thax just busted in through the entry door. Wow, he looks PISSED. #Citadel *'Snarfles': ME GO HELP! #Citadel *'Geth Infiltrator1025': Alert: Combat arena schematics suggest that an electrical barrier surrounds the field of play. #Citadel *'De-MEL-Isher': @ThisUnit1025 Yyyyyyyep, sure does. It's okay, he's a vorcha. He'll be fine once he's no longer on fire. #Citadel *'Geth Infiltrator1025': @De_Mel_isher Casino security has sent an alert message to the staff of Armax Arena to arrest suspects matching your descriptions. *'De-MEL-Isher': @ThisUnit1025 What the hell did I do? Probably good if we left. Thax really seems to want to kill Talons. Can you turn off the primes? *'Geth Infiltrator1025': @De_Mel_isher Negative. However, we can modify them to provide her with a diversion. #Citadel *'De-MEL-Isher': @ThisUnit1025 What are you gonna -- hunh. Turned 'em all into vorcha? Nice! #Citadel *'De-MEL-Isher': Hey, and I bet a nice grenade blast would knock out the wall and give Snarfles and Talons a way out! #Citadel *'Geth Infiltrator1025': @De_Mel_isher That is unlikely. A holographic grenade from the combat simulator will not damage the walls. #Citadel *'De-MEL-Isher': @ThisUnit1025 Who said anything about holograms? Fire in the hole! #Citadel Silversun Strip , and was even, for a brief period of time, co-chair of Elkoss Combine. His current show-breed name is Prince Grimrender of Gembat, and in an investigative report, we explore the lives this lovable varren has touched–and changed. Grimrender’s first appearance among humans was on the colony world of Feros, where he was one of the few friendly varren, according to reports. “We were going through a dark patch after the geth attacked,” colonist Davin Reynolds notes, “and a lot of us were feeling disconnected, like we didn’t know how to talk to each other anymore. We weren’t even sure this colony was going to survive. We were hunting for food, and I ran into this varren. I was sure it was going to attack me, but it just nuzzled my hand and led me to this dead alpha varren I hadn’t managed to find earlier–can’t imagine who killed it. Right then, I knew this colony was going to make it.” Grimrender later spent time on Tuchanka, where a merchant who goes by "Ratch" remembers him fondly: “I’d lost most of my money in a deal on some bad Graal Spike Throwers, was about to lose my shop, and then this one varren growled at me… and I just knew it was telling me to bet on it in the next fight.” Grimrender reportedly won the match, and became a friendly fixture on Tuchanka for some time. Even after his retirement, Ratch reported that Grimrender helped protect his store, warning him of pyjak attacks so that Ratch could get help to drive off the aggressive scavengers. Grimrender also raised morale among visitors, nibbling pyjak meat and following tourists around the camp. His exploits after Tuchanka are legendary. Grimrender reportedly protected a survivor from a crashed quarian ship by fending off attacking varren until help arrived, taught a greedy volus merchant the importance of caring for his friends, and helped provide a little inspiration for a salarian scientist who was having trouble cloning dinosaur mounts for krogan to use on planets with hostile atmospheres. Most recently, Grimrender has touched the life of notorious businessman Thax Vorak, who won contests with Grimrender as a show-varren. Thax confides that the varren gave him a new outlook, and maybe even a new line of work. “After my evening was interfered with, my yacht stolen and crashed, and my health compromised, I was prepared to take significant steps against those involved. However, when I saw little Grimrender dragging that hapless human — Richards, I believe — through the pond, paddling with those little legs… I realized that there were things more important than vengeance. I’ve decided not to order anything done to the turian, the vorcha, even the attractive young human female. And I confess, that’s a big step for me.” Although he is now retired from shows, Prince Grimrender of Gembat, who has gone by many names over the years, should still find a way to stay busy. At last reports, the varren has been put to stud to at McSorley’s Cloaca Margarine, a varren dairy that is currently in danger of going out of business…unless a particularly virile varren can help change lives there, too.}} *'ANN': Pride. Dedication. Commitment. Profiles in Courage follows the stories of those who give their all for all of us. #Citadel *'ANN': Still on shore leave, @De_Mel_isher, @VorchaDaddy, @TalktotheTalons, and @ThisUnit1025 have grown closer as a squad... and as friends. *'De-MEL-Isher': You guys suck. I have been on shore leave for three hours and my panties are still on. #Citadel *'Amda Talons Flufyria': @De_Mel_isher Where are we? And also, how did you smuggle a grenade onto the Citadel? #Citadel *'Snarfles': RAAAAA, CASTLE ARCADE. LOTS OF GAMES. SPACESHIPS FIGHT, ROBOTS FIGHT! #Citadel *'De-MEL-Isher': Just robots, though, 1024. Not geth. So don't get your damn omni-panties in a bunch about it. #Citadel *'Geth Infiltrator1025': @De_Mel_isher Please explain your current rhetorical fixation on undergarments. #Citadel *'De-MEL-Isher': @ThisUnit1025 Where do you think I hid the grenade? #Citadel *'Snarfles': GAMES HERE NO GIVE CREDITS! MAYBE WIN PRIZE FOR ASARI GIRLFRIEND? #Citadel *'Amda Talons Flufyria': @VorchaDaddy Or if you don't win anything, just give her an IMAGINARY prize, since she's your IMAGINARY girlfriend. #Citadel *'Snarfles': @TalktotheTalons ME ALMOST HEALED FROM BEING ON FIRE BEFORE, BUT WORDS NOT HEAL SO FAST. #Citadel *'De-MEL-Isher': Hey, look, there's Thax by the entrance! And he brought his varren! He said it was show-quality! #Citadel *'Amda Talons Flufyria': I look forward to admiring its pedigree as it EATS us. #Citadel *'Geth Infiltrator1025': Alert: Combat Arena Security has entered the building. #Citadel *'De-MEL-Isher': @ThisUnit1025 Could be worse. We've at least lost the casino security, right? #Citadel *'Geth Infiltrator1025': Alert: Silver Coast Casino Security has entered the building. #Citadel *'Snarfles': @ThisUnit1025 YOU STOP SAYING THINGS. SAY THINGS MAKE MORE BAD THINGS HAPPEN! #Citadel *'Amda Talons Flufyria': @De_Mel_isher So even your huge human panties weren't big enough to fit that bad boy, huh? #Citadel *'De-MEL-Isher': So we've got bad guys ahead of us, to the left of us, and above us. See, this is why I wished I'd brought my grenade pylon. #Citadel *'De-MEL-Isher': @TalktotheTalons Hey, my human panties are PETITE, THANKS, and at least I don't have to worry about my big freaky talons aaaaand she's gone. *'Snarfles': @De_Mel_isher SHE DO THING WHERE SHE CHARGE THROUGH ENEMIES AND POISON THEM! #Citadel *'De-MEL-Isher': @VorchaDaddy Yeah. Biotically. Wow, Thax looks green. He's probably not going to want to show me his yacht after this. #Citadel *'Snarfles': @De_Mel_isher ME THINK TIME TO RUN AFTER HER. #Citadel *'De-MEL-Isher': Ow. Ow. Excuse me. Hey, you, me, later -- no? Nice varren! #Citadel *'Snarfles': RAAAAA! IT NOT NICE! IT BITING ME! #Citadel *'Geth Infiltrator1025': We recommend you continue running and avoid confrontation with the varren. #Citadel *'De-MEL-Isher': @ThisUnit1025 Ahhhh! Why are you on the radio? I thought you were still next to us! #Citadel *'Geth Infiltrator1025': @De_Mel_isher We began running almost immediately. #Citadel *'Snarfles': @ThisUnit1025 INFILTRATOR CLOAK AND RUN AWAY, LEAVE REST OF US TO DO FIGHTING. WHY ME NO SURPRISED? #Citadel *'Geth Infiltrator1025': We have hacked Thax's personal transportation. We will wait for you to join us before lifting off. #Citadel *'De-MEL-Isher': Okay, we're outside, now which one is… heeeey, is that the yacht? #Citadel *'Snarfles': @De_Mel_isher KEEP RUNNING! VARREN STILL BITING ARM! #Citadel *'Amda Talons Flufyria': Here, climb on. It's really more of a sky-barge than a yacht. #Citadel *'De-MEL-Isher': @TalktotheTalons It's a YACHT! And I could've gotten LAID on it if you hadn't had such a damn chip on your big spiky shoulder! #Citadel *'Geth Infiltrator1025': Lifting off now. This vehicle has an unfamiliar control system. Compensating. #Citadel *'Amda Talons Flufyria': @De_Mel_isher Well, if you hadn't brought a KROGAN CRIMELORD around as your date, maybe I wouldn't have had to poison his driver to escape! *'De-MEL-Isher': @TalktotheTalons Wait, you poisoned that guy on the floor? That's not his driver. That's Richards. #Citadel *'Amda Talons Flufyria': @De_Mel_isher Oh, really? So it is. Well, he was near the sky-barge. I assumed he was a guard. #Citadel *'Amda Talons Flufyria': @De_Mel_isher He'll be okay, though. I've got an antidote that should minimize any neural damage. #Citadel *'Snarfles': @TalktotheTalons VARREN STILL BITING ARM. ME OKAY IF YOU POISON IT! #Citadel *'De-MEL-Isher': @VorchaDaddy What? No! It's cute! And oh, oh, oh, look, the bar is fully stocked on this thing! #Citadel *'Geth Infiltrator1025': Control system still unfamiliar. Compensating. #Citadel *'Amda Talons Flufyria': @ThisUnit1025 Hey, 1025, buddy, I can't help but notice we're losing altitude. #Citadel *'De-MEL-Isher': It'd be great if he had some food, because three shots of ryncol on an empty stomach is a lot even for me. #Citadel *'Amda Talons Flufyria': @ThisUnit1025 1025? Altitude. You can operate a manual-shift skycar, right? #Citadel *'Geth Infiltrator1025': Compensating. #Citadel *'Snarfles': RAAAA, WE CRASH! ME NEED TO TELL YOU SOMETHING! #Citadel *'De-MEL-Isher': @VorchaDaddy Is there any chance you could CONJUGATE it? Seriously, we all have translation interfaces.You can't handle simple verbs by now? *'Snarfles': @De_Mel_isher ME NOT ACTUALLY HAVE ASARI GIRLFRIEND. #Citadel *'Amda Talons Flufyria': @VorchaDaddy Well, duh. #Citadel *'Geth Infiltrator1025': Alert: Impact in Presidium lake in five, four, three, two... #Citadel *'Amda Talons Flufyria': Everybody okay? @De_Mel_isher, I can't believe you're still walking, much less swimming across a damn lake. #Citadel *'De-MEL-Isher': @TalktotheTalons Don't be insulting. Wait... It's a YACHT. Aren't they supposed to float? #Citadel *'Amda Talons Flufyria': @De_Mel_isher I think he was maybe exaggerating a little about the yacht. #Citadel *'De-MEL-Isher': Damn it. Snarfles, you all right? #Citadel *'Snarfles': @De_Mel_isher RAAAAA, ME LIVE! HELD ON TO YOU. YOU SEEMED LIKE GOOD SWIMMER. VERY FLOATY. #Citadel *'De-MEL-Isher': @VorchaDaddy Really? Well, glad I could help. Apparently. #Citadel *'Amda Talons Flufyria': How about @ThisUnit1025? #Citadel *'Snarfles': @TalktotheTalons ME NO THINK GETH FLOAT. #Citadel *'De-MEL-Isher': @VorchaDaddy He's waterproof, right? They couldn't have kicked the quarians off Rannoch if you could break them by throwing water on 'em. *'Amda Talons Flufyria': All right, everybody climb up onto shore. So, Snarfles, why'd you lie about having an asari girlfriend? #Citadel *'Snarfles': @TalktotheTalons ME WANTED TO IMPRESS YOU. #Citadel *'De-MEL-Isher': @VorchaDaddy With your ability to tell lies that nobody believed? Hey, unrelatedly, is ryncol bad for humans? #Citadel *'Amda Talons Flufyria': @VorchaDaddy WHY did you want to impress us? #Citadel *'Snarfles': @TalktotheTalons NOT ALL. YOU. ME NO HAVE GREAT BIOTICS OR CABAL SKILLS. BUT ME THINK IF ME HAVE CREDITS AND GIRLFRIEND, YOU THINK ME GOOD. *'Snarfles': @TalktotheTalons BUT ALONG WAY, ME REALIZED IT NOT IMAGINARY GIRLFRIEND ME WANTED. IT REAL GIRLFRIEND. WHO FIGHT WELL AND POISON PEOPLE. *'Snarfles': @TalktotheTalons YOU EVERYTHING ME NEVER KNEW ME ALWAYS WANTED. AND KNOW ME NOT PRETTY TURIAN WITH BIG MANDIBLES, BUT-- #Citadel *'Amda Talons Flufyria': @VorchaDaddy Shut up and kiss me, Snorfles . #Citadel *'De-MEL-Isher': @TalktotheTalons I am going to throw up. #Citadel *'Amda Talons Flufyria': @De_Mel_isher Hey, RACISM. #Citadel *'De-MEL-Isher': @TalktotheTalons No, no, literally, I'm pretty sure ryncol is actually poisonous for people. I mean human people. YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN. *'Geth Infiltrator1025': @De_Mel_isher We can administer poison-control measures if necessary. #Citadel *'De-MEL-Isher': @ThisUnit1025 Gah! Where the crap did you come from? #Citadel *'Geth Infiltrator1025': @De_Mel_isher Geth do not float. We walked along the underside of the lake. #Citadel *'De-MEL-Isher': @ThisUnit1025 Good to know. So, Snorfles and Talons are hooking up for the night. Um, maybe literally. Are they CAUGHT on each other there? *'Geth Infiltrator1025': @De_Mel_isher We approve of this opportunity for emotional bonding within the squad. #Citadel *'De-MEL-Isher': @ThisUnit1025 So wait, I'm going to get sick from the ryncol, and THOSE TWO get laid? Who am I supposed to shack up with, 1024, you? *'Geth Infiltrator1025': @De_Mel_isher This unit's number is 1025. And we are currently in a committed relationship with your grenade pylon. #Citadel *'De-MEL-Isher': @ThisUnit1025 Son of a… aaand there's a C-Sec hovercraft. With a spotlight. That's our cue to clear out! #Citadel *'De-MEL-Isher': Hey, wait. Is that Richards out there on the tip of the yacht? #Citadel *'Geth Infiltrator1025': @De_Mel_isher Affirmative. And the varren. #Citadel *'De-MEL-Isher': @ThisUnit1025 Ah, I'm sure they'll be fine. #Citadel Trivia *This broadcast was launched to promote the Mass Effect 3: Citadel DLC, where Commander Shepard and the squad also get some shore leave and may visit locations such as the Silver Coast Casino and the Armax Arsenal Arena. *The N7 squad with agents of four different species reflects Mass Effect 3 Multiplayer mode, where squads of four soldiers fight the Reaper threat together. *Thax's pilot, Richards, is an Alliance specialist N7 Destroyer and a former squadmate of De-MEL-Isher. *It is suggested by developers that De-MEL-Isher is the female marine named "Mel" into the entrance of the Purgatory Bar on the Citadel in Mass Effect 3 who refers to her squadmate Richards. References Category:Alliance News Network